Please. I need help. Losing my mind.?

Acting one way around one group of people and another with a different group isn't so unusual or uncommon. You are trying to control your emotions which is why you conduct yourself with eloquence and your mind is like a logistics center. Your anger at your friend regarding the missed lunch appointment seems to be your anger at other things in your life bottled up inside. You have no one to express yourself to. But even if you did. You must start from the inside. Allow yourself to be who you truly are. Being an over-acheiver will not complete you.